One of the most common complaints I hear from other women is that their husband just wants sex all the time. Differences in libido within marriage are often a cause of resentment, increased tension, and unnecessary stress and even divorce. This usually leads to a significant strain being placed on an otherwise happy relationship.
However, a Wife-Led Marriage typically brings a sex life that’s exciting and fulfilling for the man yet completely relaxing and stress-free for the female. Most men will want sex as often as you allow them. But women are usually different, and not everyone is interested in sex every day. When you transition to a Wife-Led Marriage your husband should show you the ultimate respect in the bedroom. So going forward, how often you have sex should now be entirely up to you and your mood.
My husband and I have more sex now than we ever did. The difference is sex just looks a lot different! When I talk about sex I am not talking about intercourse. If you remember in an earlier post I stopped allowing my husband to have vaginal intercourse with me around 8 years ago. The sex I’m talking about is everything from me pegging him, peeing in his mouth, licking my asshole and vagina till I’m satisfied, masturbating him with my feet without completion and a couple of times a year, actually giving him a hand job and allowing him a full orgasm that he quickly licks up. You get the idea!
If you think about it women have always been the gatekeepers of sex in marriage anyway, only it usually plays out with a man persistently attempting to initiate sex until the woman eventually acquiesces — a scenario that can be tiresome and stressful. A Wife-Led Marriage finally brings a dynamic that empowers women, and we can for once fix this paradigm.
Imagine a life where you’re made to feel like a feminine goddess, constantly desired by your man, but without any underlying pressure to have sex, he never misreads your mood and just proposes it at some unwarranted time. But when you do happen to be in the mood he instinctively picks up on your subtle cues and he naturally takes the initiative. This is what sex can look like in a WLM, and all you need to do is make it clear that he is no longer allowed to overtly initiate sex.
Your husband may worry that if he refrains from prompting you, it’ll end up never happening, but what he will discover is that when he treats you like a Queen every day, you’re likely to be in the mood much more regularly than before. And just because your husband is abstaining it doesn’t mean you should too. You’d be totally missing the point and would be denying yourself numerous activities that will be pleasurable for both of you.
Improving Your Intimacy
Women in traditional marriages are often conditioned to view their bodies as vessels for male enjoyment, so it may not occur to us to explore what brings us pleasure. We convince ourselves we have a low libido, but in reality, it’s only women who’ve never given themselves the time or permission to enjoy their bodies and discover what turns them on.
Recent studies have challenged the misconception that women have a lower libido than men. In fact, these studies consistently show that at the beginning of a relationship, men and women experience similar levels of sexual desire. It’s only when the monotony of domestic life sets in that women’s libido tends to decrease, while men’s remains relatively unchanged. Think about it: even after 23 years of a Female Led marriage, a man can be aroused simply by watching his partner undress. How many of us can honestly say the same?
One study in particular concluded that, the fundamental difference between men and women in long term relationships is that arousal is much more mental than physical for women. We just get bored of routine much more easily. This is the core reason why women are the predominant consumers of sex toys and it also sheds a little light on why the study found it’s actually women who benefit much more from promiscuity than men. It’s not our fault, it’s just the way we are wired, and we shouldn’t be ashamed of our biological differences. We simply need more novelty, variety, attention and mental stimulation to keep things interesting.
So, this just becomes another great reason why your husband should work extra hard to tend to your emotional well-being. In a Wife-Led Marriage, arousal should begin in the morning through acts of service, where her man makes her tea and breakfast before work. It continues throughout the day with engaging communication. Then later that evening he may surprise her with flowers, let her relax while he takes care of the kids, or massage her feet while he spends some quality time with her. When a man tends to his wife’s emotional needs and makes her life easier, she will be much more open to becoming aroused in the bedroom.
I’m not suggesting a Wife-Led Marriage will turn you into some horny housewife who wants sex every day with everyone. The main point I’m trying to make is that you’re now living with a man who DESIRES to make your everyday life easier and wants to please you in any way he can. So, when you’re in the mood, take this opportunity to find out what you enjoy and have him do that to you whenever you feel like it.
But at this juncture, I need to point out that regular sexual intercourse can be challenging in a Wife-Led Marriage. The main obstacle to overcome is a man abstaining from orgasms will be ready to ejaculate in seconds and an accidental orgasm is almost guaranteed to occur. So how can you reap the amazing benefits that come from him abstaining without severely compromising your sex life? Well, let me just say sometimes you can have the best of both worlds! So, if you’re willing to adjust your preferences slightly then an amazing sex life awaits.
Through a combination of your husband having a burning desire to please you and him abstaining from orgasms. What you’ll find is sex will quite naturally become more focused on your pleasure. When a man transitions to a Wife-Led Marriage he develops a strong desire to put you on a pedestal and worship you for the feminine goddess you are. Nothing exemplifies this more than being on the receiving end of utterly one-sided oral sex. When a man kneels before his queen, with his only goal being to please her and has no expectations he’ll get anything in return, he is showing his wife he honors and respects her in a truly fundamental way.
This act has become a powerful symbol of our Wife-Led Marriage — a reminder of the loving female authority I hold in our everyday lives. When sex is centered on a woman’s pleasure, it strengthens the association between a highly arousing experience and putting your needs above his own. This, in turn, makes pleasing you in everyday life more instinctual for him
So, in our marriage, and in most Wife-Led Marriages, sex is for a woman’s pleasure. When we’re intimate, more often than not he gets nothing in return. It’s not to say he never gets attention, it’s just that he doesn’t have the expectations of reciprocation. At face value, this may seem unfair, but as a couple, we enjoy a very healthy, intimate, and loving sex life. Just because our lovemaking is primarily for my pleasure it doesn’t mean it doesn’t count as sex for him. And trust me, once you’ve experienced the benefits a one-sided sex life brings to your everyday life, you won’t want it any other way.
But does this make me a terrible wife for neglecting his physical pleasure in such a way? Unequivocally no. If your marriage is healthy and based on mutual love and respect, you will soon enough discover what’s working and what isn’t, either because he tells you or because you just sense it. And then you work it out.
Undoubtedly there will be some men who need more attention than others and your own experience may vary from mine. So, in general, you can feel free to enjoy a sexual relationship with your husband however you like. As long as his orgasms are sufficiently rationed most of the benefits of living in a Wife-Led Marriage will still be attained.
While all of this may seem counterintuitive, the main point to remember is really a simple one, and you may be noticing that same recurring theme here again. When your husband is abstaining, the more one-sided your sex life is, the more proactive, motivated, and attentive he becomes in your day-to-day life. How much you choose to use that to your advantage is completely up to you
The Spice of Life
Before our Wife-Led Marriage, I was, admittedly, a VERY sexually oriented person. Ok, let me be honest, I was a little slutty! In high school and collage, I slept with a lot of men. Add in blow jobs and my numbers go even higher. Honestly, I loved the attention, and I had some great, no strings attached sex!
When I started dating my husband the intercourse was lackluster at best. My husband gave the best oral sex a girl could dream of, because he was always focusing on my pleasure. “Giving it to me” wasn’t his specialty. What I have come to learn is that he’s not alone. Most submissive men just don’t have it in them to grab a girl by the hair and fuck them silly. They are literally good for 30 seconds and ready to explode. And yes, he is 100% aware of my thoughts on this. I don’t hide this from him. Actually, I tell him all the time that he has no business fucking me and I make fun of how fast he cums.
I explained this earlier in a different post, but I cut off my husband from intercourse years ago. Not to go “all psychological” on you again but telling him these things and cutting him off, feed the denial and humiliation needs of submissive men. Almost every submissive man has a denial and humiliation need. It is one of the core parts of Femdom.
Think about this for a second, I don’t allow my husband to have intercourse with me and he loves me MORE for it! You will never find a married couple who are more in love, intimate and happy as we are! SEX is in the MIND. Learn how to trigger the things that make you both tick.
While sex should never be the only motivation to transition to a Wife-Led Marriage, nor should it become the focal point of your relationship, a Wife-Led Marriage does, however, present you with a great opportunity for sexual self-discovery, so it would be a bit of a shame if you didn’t take advantage of the situation at hand. After all, men are often all too eager to talk about their sexual fantasies with their wives. But you’re in a Wife-Led Marriage now, and it’s your time to shine! Your husband has learned to derive his pleasure from yours, as a result, anything that improves your sexual experience ultimately brings your husband more joy too, so there’s no need to feel guilty about it.
So, as you further your Wife-Led Marriage journey, I encourage you to lose your inhibitions and broaden your horizons. If you think about it your husband has shown you true vulnerability in making the transition, he’s made many sacrifices, and he’s even embraced embarrassing and unconventional ideas just so you can live your dream life. Do you really think anything you say is going to shock or offend him? I assure you it really won’t. Take this opportunity to enhance your sex life with toys, sex vacations, others, and tell him exactly what makes you feel good. Have him worship you for the feminine goddess you truly are. The world really is your oyster.
Going forward I urge you to openly communicate your sexual needs to your husband. Having sexual fantasies and desires is a completely natural part of life. It doesn’t matter how risqué or taboo it may seem, you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. After all, it’s his role to be your perfect supportive gentleman, someone who accepts your desires without reservation or judgment and does whatever he can to make your fantasies come true. And when your husband becomes so attuned to your womanly needs almost anything is within the realms of possibility, and he’ll want nothing more than to be the one who empowers your sexual liberation
Living in a fully established Wife-Led Marriage is like stepping into a life where everything is designed to work in your favor. You have the emotional support, the practical assistance, and the freedom to live life exactly as you want. It’s a partnership that allows you to thrive in every sense of the word, with a husband who becomes more devoted, more motivated, and more loving with each passing day. Whether you stick to a traditional structure or explore more unconventional freedoms, the power is entirely in your hands. And that, dear reader, is the true beauty of a Wife-Led Marriage.
You may be reading this and thinking, “A Wife-Led Marriage sounds too good to be true.” Or you might be wondering if it could ever work with you and your man. But here’s the thing — it costs nothing to try. I’ve seen this approach work for countless couples, men of diverse personalities, and from all walks of life.
Some of the ideas in this blog might seem counterintuitive at first, but you’ll quickly discover that in a Wife-Led Marriage, you can have your cake and eat it too. You’ll find yourself living your absolute dream life, enjoying everything you ever wanted from marriage, simply by embracing your role in a Wife-Led Marriage. On the flip side, your husband’s sacrifices won’t feel like sacrifices at all — they’ll become a source of pleasure for him, and he’ll find fulfillment in the intimacy and connection this lifestyle fosters. Together, you’ll rekindle that spark you had when you first started dating. Only this time, it won’t fizzle out — it’ll become your new normal.
I firmly believe that if more couples lived this way, the world would be a much better place.
Now, assuming you’re ready to dive in, let me offer a quick recap and some parting advice — a “quick start guide,” if you will:
- Take your time: There are many new ideas covered in this blog, so don’t rush. Absorb the information and read through it as many times as you need before making any changes.
- It’s Wife-led: Remember, this is the core concept. You, as the wife, decide what changes to make and at what pace to make them.
- Have the conversation: If he hasn’t already, your husband should tell you that he wants this change. He should ask if you want to lead your marriage and become the head of your household.
- Communicate: Open, honest communication is crucial. Encourage him to express why he wants this and discuss how it will work for both of you.
- Be patient: Your husband will have a lot to learn and do, and it will take time before things become second nature to him. But I assure you, it will happen. Soon enough, you’ll have a proactive husband who anticipates your every need without being asked.
- Assume your roles: Accept that your roles will no longer be equal or even fair. But as long as you’re both happy, it’s perfectly okay to have a husband who makes it his primary mission to improve and complement your life.
- Tell him what you want: Don’t rely on hints or expect him to guess. In the beginning, be explicit with your needs. Over time, he’ll get much better at anticipating them, but at the start, clear communication is key.
- Don’t settle for less than perfection: Don’t lower your standards — expect your husband to rise to meet them. He will work hard to make your dream life come true.
- Embrace your egocentric traits: This lifestyle thrives when you put yourself first and live exactly how you want. Be selfish, accept your role, and realize how much your husband enjoys seeing you embrace it. You’ll soon be completely comfortable demanding his attention and catering to your every whim, and he’ll love being the one to make you happy.
- Practice orgasm control: This is one of the most important tools in a Wife-Led Marriage. It fast-tracks the benefits and makes your transition smoother. Trust me, you’ll see the results quickly. This doesn’t change who your husband is, it just helps him become the best version of himself.
- Remember the objectives: A Wife-Led Marriage is about creating a harmonious, peaceful home where you have more time for each other. It’s about family, ambition, and creating a life where both of you thrive. If something isn’t working, communicate and adjust accordingly.
- Don’t look back: Once you embrace this lifestyle, enjoy your blissful marriage and live your dream life. Appreciate being treated like the goddess you are, for the rest of your days.