A recent study published in the “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy” highlights the role of sexual boredom in shaping sexual and relationship satisfaction among men and women in long-term relationships.
Basically, it means boredom causes relationship problems. If your sex life doesn’t evolve every 18 months, you are driving down “Maybe We Should Mix Things Up Avenue.” If your sex life looks the same as it did ten years ago, you are driving towards, “Serious Marriage Problems Parkway.” How many times have you heard the term, “spice up your sex life?” Therapists and Intimacy Coaches specialize in this topic, because it effects so many couples.
There is a clinical term for this called, NRE or “New Relationship Energy.” In a marriage, it’s called the “Honeymoon Phase.” You experienced this when you first met your husband, and with all your prior boyfriends, and even the one night stand you had in college, during Spring Break in Daytona Beach!
When you first meet someone, and have sex with them (this could be the blowjob you gave that one guy in his car, or when you and your boyfriend had sex in his apartment) it’s exciting! There is a “rush!” (this explains it all if you’re interested, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321428)
After a while, the rush goes away and it’s not as exciting. This doesn’t mean you don’t love your husband as much, but you are not having the same mental reaction and excitement that you did when you first met. This is why Open Marriages, Swinging and Cuckolding are so popular. They’re not trying to replace their partners, they’re creating New Relationship Energy within the safety of their own marriages.
This is the same in Femdom. You have to “spice it up” every so often. I’m not the most creative person and sometimes have trouble coming up with new ideas on my own, but I’m a great researcher! Years ago, I went online and purchased a dozen old Penthouse Variations Magazines and read them all. I already knew the themes and it covered all the fetishes that turned on my husband. It gave me dozens of new ideas! Remember the “tampon cherry popsicle,” I got that idea from Penthouse Variations. Suctioning a dildo to the wall and making him blow it, making him get the used condom from the trash can and sending him to the store with a butt plug, you guessed it, I stole those from Penthouse Variations. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel!
Nowadays, it’s so much easier for you than it was for me! (Damn I sound old saying that) It’s easy because you have Fetlife! There are enough ideas on Fetlife for you to keep “spicing things up” forever!